Bless

Suffering for Doing Right
Finally, all of you, have unity of spirit, sympathy, love for one another, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or abuse for abuse, but, on the contrary, repay with a blessing. It is for this that you were called—that you might inherit a blessing. For

   “Those who desire to love life
      and to see good days,
   let them keep their tongues from evil
      and their lips from speaking deceit;
   let them turn away from evil and do good;
      let them seek peace and pursue it.
~ 1 Peter 3:3-8 (NRSVUE)

I wonder, my friends, have you ever gotten your feelings hurt? Or maybe you started to worry about something that might happen? Or you got angry at something you heard on the news? Or someone else got something that you didn’t think they deserved? Or perhaps someone posts something on Facebook that made you feel small, inadequate, or not good enough? Well, Eleanor Roosevelt, the wife of our thirty-second president, once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent,” meaning you are the one in control of your feelings. No one else can make you feel anything. She also said, “The choices we make are, ultimately, our own responsibility.”

Well, folks, life is all about choices! Isn’t it? But as Eleanor Roosevelt said, the choices you make are your choices to make. I can’t make your choices for you. And no matter what Scripture says or what you hear people say on TV, no matter what your family thinks or what your friends say, your thoughts are your thoughts. Your emotions are your emotions. And your choices are your choices.

I have a group of very close friends who I have known for more than thirty years, and I am always surprised at how similar and yet drastically different we are from one another. Unfortunately, a few weeks ago, one of my friend’s teenage sons was assaulted and ended up with a broken arm. Now I know that there are two sides to every story, and even if we hear both sides, we don’t actually get to see the whole picture. Well, the mother of the injured teen was texting our group with the details about the fight. I could not believe the things that I was hearing from my grown adult friends. The anger and the desire to repay evil for evil and abuse for abuse overwhelmed me. I kept silent in the text conversation while sending out my own personal prayers for healing and comfort for the injured boy and his mom. But I also prayed for the boy who hurt him because all I could think of was, “How broken is he?” And “What must be going on in his life to think assaulting someone is okay?” And finally, I prayed for my group of friends, that their hearts might be opened to set their judgment and hate aside so that they might witness to the brokenness on all sides.

Friends, I do not tell you this story to say, “Look at me; I’m perfect!” because, as you all know, I am far from perfect. And this story is not about me. But I do believe that when we truly do our best to walk in the footsteps of Jesus, living lives of faith and we look for ways to bless rather than retaliate we make our own lives and the lives of others better.

Now, my prayers were just a small step, but as I prayed, my heart was filled with the possibility of hope and forgiveness, and of kindness and mercy rather than texting hurtful things about what should happen to the teenage assailant and filling my mind with judgment and hate.

Friends, our choices often do more to change us than anyone else. When we choose to forgive, more than making a difference in the life of the person who hurt us, our forgiveness releases us from the hurt we are carrying. And when we choose to bless someone, though we give the blessing away, we can’t help but be warmed by the light and the kindness of the blessing ourselves.

Since my daughter Jane was a little girl, we have always said that she was the girl with the curl. She could be the sweetest, most loving child one minute and an absolute terror the next. Now, as a thirty-year-old scientist with a Ph.D, she can still be very warm and caring, but she can also be very, let’s just say, strong and opinionated. Jane has an amazing mind for science, but she also has strong self-care skills. Since she was little, Jane has always loved to bake, and whenever she has an issue or has had an argument with a colleague or friend, she always bakes a batch of cookies and brings them in to share the next day, whether they have fixed their issue or not. Now, believe me, she is not a pushover or a people pleaser, far from it! And she does not do it to sweep the issue under the rug. On the contrary, Jane is wise beyond her years, and she knows that offering a blessing or an act of kindness goes a lot further than building a wall.

As Jesus-followers, we are called to live by different rules. We don’t return “evil for evil.” Instead, we are called to bless the one who hurt or is hurting us. That means that we wish them well. We pray positively for them. We respond with kindness and compassion even when it isn’t reciprocated. And, sometimes, we even bring them cookies because when we do, we release ourselves from carrying all of the emotional and physical baggage that is associated with stress, anxiety, and holding a grudge. Instead, our minds and bodies can be protected and kept healthy because we are letting it go, and we aren’t letting it get to us.

In today’s scripture reading, the writer quoted Psalm 34, which was written by King David a thousand years earlier. It showed us that repaying evil with good isn’t given as a command; it is given as a way to experience a blessing! Do you remember what it said? “For ‘Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. Friends, when we choose to live like that, it enables us to have an enjoyable life! 

Over the years, I’ve seen many people who can’t forgive. Their anger ends up fermenting, and they turn into bitter individuals. And that bitterness ends up infecting all of their other relationships.

Friends, I know that there are hurts that you are all holding onto. I have some that I struggle with, too. But the truth is, those hurts are usually attached to people that we find it difficult to forgive in our hearts. So, we’ve got to learn to let it go. And we’ve got to learn to forgive them and to bless them instead.

Jesus teaches us even more about blessings because Jesus blesses things all the time! He blessed the bread and the cup, like we are going to in just a few moments. He blessed children. He blessed the poor, the hungry, the meek, the merciful, the pure in heart, the ones who mourn, the ones who were persecuted, and the peacemakers. I always think that there should be another line in there that says, “Jesus blessed the good, the bad, and the ugly,” because it didn’t matter who or what Jesus was blessing. It was the blessing that mattered and that ultimately changed the recipient for the good. Jesus blessed his disciples, even though they were far from perfect, giving them the courage and strength to go out and bless others. And Jesus blesses us too, though like the disciples, we too are far from perfect; but he calls us to do the same.

So, brothers and sisters in Christ, as you go out into your busy week ahead and out into God’s amazing creation, don’t repay evil with evil or abuse with abuse. Say a prayer for hope, peace, and forgiveness. Reach out with kindness and compassion, and maybe even bake a batch of cookies because a blessing that is shared is a blessing made double!

My friends, may it be so. Thanks be to God, Amen!